Fear of the familiar
by eden alice
Summary: After everything is destroyed what comes next?
1. Buzz

Fear of the Familiar  
Brennan yawned loudly as he half listened to Jesse talking about some girl he had met at a club last night. He watched Shalimar and Emma from across the large room that they were exploring. He grinned as he saw Shalimar's eyes turn a golden yellow as she scanned the area and muttered something to Emma.  
  
"Then she turned out to be your mother."  
  
"What?" Brennan asked confused as he turned to face Jesse who lofted up an eyebrow so high it almost diapered under his floppy hair.  
  
"Your not listing to me, are you?" Jesse asked aggressively but anyone who knew Jesse could see the innocent glint of humour in his blue eyes.  
  
"Oh come on Jess, you meet the perfect girl every week. I'm sure you'll tell me about the next one and I'll listen then." Brennan replied not even bothering to try and sound serious.  
  
Jesse casually kicked an old test tube that littered the floor. As the small glass object rolled away it left a clean path on the dusty floor.  
  
"You bored to hu?" He asked.  
  
"Out of my mind." Brennan replied with a dramatic sigh. "Adam has us checking out this old lab, which is ok if it wasn't lost under a sea of dust. Isn't there some bad guys up to no good so we can teach them a lesson?"  
  
"Is big bad Brennan sad without any kick butt action?" A voice behind him teased.  
  
He turned to see Shalimar standing with her arms crossed and a big grin on her face that could make any males heart stop-including Brennan's.  
  
"And what about little Shalimar is she extremely bored too?" He asked in a childish voice.  
  
Shalimar made her brown eyes wide as possible. Doing her best impression of Emma's innocent look. She held out her hand her thumb and a finger only inches apart. "Maybe just an little bit." She replied pouting.  
  
"Well maybe if you two would stop flirting we could get this over and done with and them you both can go and find some unexpected person to beat up." Emma said taking on the role of parent of the group, as Adam was not around.  
  
The other three started to search the lab. It was a large room, filled with row of large workbenches and desks. It had been left far from clean. Test tubes, Bunsen burners, goggles and some more high-tech equipment that the team had no idea about its uses. It was as if the many scientists that had once worked here night and day on media break throws, on wonders only they could imagine had just suddenly and quickly got up and left. Leaving all their equipment behind for others to find their answers.  
  
Scientists did not do that.  
  
They must of left a while ago jugging from the dust that was now covering everything and anything in a blanket of brown.  
  
"Remind me why we're here anyway." Brennan asked idly opening a desk draw curiously.  
  
Jesse gave him a 'you should have been listing look'. "We're here as this lab was abandoned by a huge group of independent scientists. No one knows what thy did here but it must be something important as the GSA were spotted here searching for something by one of Adams informants." Jesse said his words in a matter of fact way as he scanned the top of a desk that looked a little cleaner than the rest.  
  
Emma who had been examining some sheets of paper suddenly gave up trying to read the small scribbles and let out a frustrated sigh. 'Why do doctors have such crappy handwriting' she thought. "You know guys if we were going to find anything we would of by now." She said carelessly throwing the papers down.  
  
"She's right." Shalimar frowned "Lets go before we get coated in dust."  
  
The boys silently agreed as they all met around one desk. Jesse sitting on a stool, Shalimar hoped on the desk itself and Emma leaned against Jesse with a cheeky smile. A plain small metal box caught Brennan's eyes. Picking it up he juggled it from one hand to the other. It rattled.Sitting the box on the desk he gave it a tiny electric shock to break the rusty lock.  
  
"Typical Brennan always gotta look were his not meant too." Shalimar commented.  
  
Brennan kept his eyes Shalimar as he placed a hand inside the box lifting out the object inside. "Uh, well curiosity killed the.ow!" He said pulling his hand away and shaking it.  
  
"What happened?" Emma asked concerned.  
  
"Something stung me." He said holding his injured hand to the light.  
  
Looking inside the box Emma carefully pulled out the object. A newly dead bee. Picking it up by its back legs she showed it to Brennan.  
  
Jesse let out a quiet laugh until Brennan shot him a warning look. Shalimar giggled, gently tacking Brennan's hand and kissed it. "There better now?" She asked.  
  
"Much" He replied keeping eye contact with Shalimar for a little longer than he should have.  
  
Emma rolled her eyes walking out closely followed be Jesse. "Come on" She said "Lets go home." 


	2. Anger and explanations

Authors notes- Thanks for the review! This is my first fan fic so all reviews are encouraged. I think this takes place during early second season. They will be a Brennan and Shalimar paring but this does not mean they will be together by the end of this (You'll find out why later) As for the other questions you will just have to carry on reading. I apologise for my spelling. My English teacher tells me its appalling. Anyway hope you like - Carmel 

The loud banging noise in the distance jumped Adam out of his work. It took him a few seconds to register that the sound had came from the garage and that his four-team members had returned.

He rubbed his temples before glancing down at his watch surprised to see five hours had past since he had sent the team off and started working. He really needed to get out more. Adam winced as he glanced back at the annoyingly bright computer screen. Deciding he had done enough for one day he switched the computer off, not before double-checking that all his work had been saved.

Smoothing out the wrinkles in his chocolate brown shirt he stood up to go and meet the team. He stumbled slightly realising the sharp tingly feeling in one foot and the numbness in the other was pins and needles. 

He smiled as he saw the team enter. Shalimar first with her usual energy. She bounced in wearing low cut jeans and a red lacy tank top. Her high hills clicked on the wooden floor as she walked towards him

Jesse and Emma came in next Giggling at a private joke. Emma was wearing a long denim skirt that hugged her long slender legs closely and an oversized blue shirt that was suggestively open enough to show her slim stomach. Jesse was dressed casual in beige khakis and a thin black sweatshirt.

Brennan entered last wearing tight black jeans and a tight white t-shirt. He hung back from his friends walking slowly behind them. Adam frowned at his body language the elementals muscular shoulders were filled with tension. He was properly just bored but Adam made a mental note to talk to him later.

Adam never asked them how the mission went. He never did, it was part of their ritual after missions to wait to they were all sitting comfortably and they would start talking on their own accord. 

"That was a supreme waste of time." Shalimar moaned as she checked her blond waves for split ends.

Adam smiled at his feral patiently. "It was not meant to be exciting Shal. So what did you find?"

"Nothing. It didn't look like anyone had been there for ages. Did your contact tell you what they had been doing there?" Emma asked the only one who looked generally interested. 

Adam sat on the edge of the arm of a black leather chair unconsciously moving his hands as he explained. "From what she told me it seems that they were doing some sort of study on insects. Quite fascinating really." He said as Shalimar rolled her eyes.

"That explains it." Jesse said after sitting quiet for a while now.

"Explains what?" Adam asked felling slightly out of the loop.

"Brennan got stung by a bee that was in a box." Shalimar said tiredly before she stopped and then frowned. "What the hell does the GSA want with bugs?"

Jesse snorted, "You never know with those guys. If they weren't always trying to kill us I would be worried about them."

Adam ignored Jesse and focused on a quiet Brennan. "You were stung? Did you feel anything unusual that could be a side effect?"

Brennan said nothing and shook his head.

"Are you sure Bren, because you might be allergic or something." Emma pressed knowing how stubborn Brennan could be.

"Emma it was a stupid little bee. Not gonna die from a little sting am I now?" He snapped at his red headed friend. Leaning back with his muscular arms folded across his chest.

Shalimar eyes turned feral as she turned to Brennan "Don't have a go at Emma because your male egos hurt she's only trying to help." She snapped back moving to block Brennan's view of Emma, protecting her best friend.

Jesse cleared his throat "Um, so Adam how could a bee survive in a metal box?" He asked before Shalimar and Brennan could trade anymore-bitchy remarks.

"Well it may have flew into the box without you noticing when you opened it. But that's unlikely. It could have been an experiment, see how long a bee could survive with a limited amount of oxygen." He stopped himself before he started babbled again.

"Supper bee." Emma laughed quietly as she gently pulled on Shalimar's wrist to get her to sit down. 

"We have no evidence of what the GSA took from the lab so you may have to go back again. You never know if the research could be used as part of a sinister plan." Adam warned them.

"Yes sir!" Shalimar exclaimed jumping up and playfully saluting their leader. "Emm I need to get something to wear for that party tomorrow. Want to go to the mall?" She asked knowing Emma would never turn down a shopping trip.

"Of course it will be fun." Emma said she needed some knew clothes anyway. "I'll just go and get my coat." Emma trotted of to her room.

Adam stood up and picked up a few sheets of paper on the small table. He had wondered were he had left his notes. "You should come to the lab Brennan. Let me run a scan just to make sure your ok."

Adam, Jesse and Shalimar all jumped as Brennan jumped up throwing a ball of electricity at the wide screen TV located in the corner of the room. "For fuck sake it's just a bee bite why are you behaving like I'm a child!" He stood with his fists clenched anger evident in his eyes.

They all stood looking at him speechless.

Looking round at all their faces he calmed down slightly taking a deep breath. "Sorry guys I guess I need to get rid of some excess energy."

"Its ok, I'm being over cautious anyway." Adam said carefully choosing his words.

Emma chose that moment to re enter the room. She stopped and looked at them all suspiciously. "Shal you ready?" 

Shalimar smiled glad for an excuse to leave. "Sure lets go and spend money I don't have." She said a little too brightly as she linked arms with Emma and pulled her back out to the garage.

"Brennan why don't we have a game of basket ball?" Jesse asked his voice cutting through the silence that had arrived when the girls left.

Brennan grunted something that Jesse guessed was a yes and they both headed to the training area.

Grateful for having the highly-strung elemental away from the high tech equipment he looked around the room. "And I'll fix the TV." He called out to none "Again." He muttered jumping back as it started to make a strange buzzing sound.     


	3. Only a game

Wow I really didn't expect that many reviews for my first fan fic! Thanks guys but I wouldn't mind more. Sorry I f I take a while updating after this chapter, just to warn you I'm starting my GCSE's next week so I might be a bit busy for a while.

Thump, thump, thump.

The dojo was in total silence apart from the sound of the steady beat of the ball hammering against the floor. Jesse found this a little strange as whenever the two men attempted to play any sport activity together it usually ended up being a loud taunting match full of testosterone. 

Brennan bounced the ball facing off with Jesse who was defending the net. They stood inches apart in silence. Jesse could feel the heat rolling of Brennan as they had been playing for around an hour now. It was an intense game; in the stand down both players simply stared at each other waiting for one of them to make a move.

'You know you have to win this don't' 

The voice surprised Brennan as he checked to see if Jesse had heard it. He hadn't.

'You should listen to me. If you lose he'll laugh at you, they all will' 

Brennan looked around again. Surly he was not the only one who heard it. The voice was quiet but hard and cold. It whispered and hissed to him as if it was telling him some dangerous secret.  

_'His going to use his powers'_ the voice explained, almost singing.

Still confused and frustrated Brennan focused on the game. He tensed up slightly as he decided to dive to the left of Jesse and run for the net. But before he could put his plan to action he saw Jesse disappear from in front of him and a warm, disorientating tingly feeling pasted through his body. The next thing he knew the ball was out of his hands and he could hear Jesse laughing behind him.

Turning around he saw Jesse throw the ball and than he heard it hit the backboard and then the floor. He did not have to turn around again to know that Jesse had got the ball in the net.

He felt a storm of anger build inside him for the second time in one day. Jesse had cheated; he had fazed through him and grabbed the ball on the way. They had agreed no powers.

_'How pathetic are you_? _I told you he was going to use his powers now he'll go and tell the rest of them and they will all have a good laugh at you behind your back'  _

The voice was right; he stopped questioning it after all it knew what Jesse was going to do. How dare he, how dare they, laughing at him behind his back. They properly had been doing it since the first day he had joined Mutant X. The cursed himself for being so stupid and not seeing it before hand. He cursed them for treating him like an idiot.

"Got ya." Jesse said smugly an annoying grin played on his face.

Brennan was seeing red. Before he knew what he was doing he felt his fist contact with Jesse's cheekbone sending him flying backwards, hard.

Jesse quickly scrambled up feeling a warm trickle of blood run down his face. He wiped it with his sleeve wincing as it came into contact with the small cut.

"What is your problem?" He asked surprised but anger still managed to filter through into his voice. Brennan always seemed he could throw his weight around. Like he was something special. Jesse was about ready to tell him to go fuck himself.

Brennan's only reply was to rush at Jesse again. Fist already raised for another powerful blow.

But this time hitting Jesse sent vibrations through his fist, up his arm and up too his shoulder. He gritted his teeth in pain. Jesse had fazed again but this time making himself solid like a brick wall.

Knowing he had caught the larger man of guard Jesse took the opportunity to deliver a round kick knocking Brennan of his feet.

"Lay off man!" He said angrily "Its only a game!"

Part of Brennan's anger seemed to disappear as he sat on the hard floor. Why had he even attacked Jesse in the first place? He knew it was often him that cheated using his electrical powers to win a game. Still he was not about to apologise, Jesse did not deserve that much if he could not take the occasional squabble then that was his problem for cheating in the first place.

"What ever." He said getting up and walking down the steps to pick up a whiter than white towel. He throw it over his shoulder aggressively, felling the dry towel already start to soak up the thin layer of sweat that covered his muscular arms. 

Jesse stood speechless, his face turning red from the exercise and from anger. What gave Brennan the right to think he could walk all over him? All Jesse had done was to try and be friendly to Brennan since the beginning. Just because he was not loud and obnoxious and he did not jump into bed with every women he laid eyes on did not make him any less of a man or a new mutant than Brennan.

Brennan ignored the other fuming mutant as he headed to the shower. The voice whispered something again causing him to smile.

'Now wasn't that fun' The mall was busy this time of day. It was crowded with teenagers in big, loud groups, little old women sitting on benches drinking cups of teas and middle aged women hurrying along to shops with their partners dragging their feet about a kilometre behind them. Sending sympathetic glances to the other men being dragged along by their wife's. The mall building itself was large and strangely clean. The tiled floors shined in ocean blues and greens. The banisters on the balconies of the second and third floor shined silver as if some one had just gone round and polished them all with a toothbrush. The shops there varied from large department stores to tiny quaint shops selling all wired and wonderful things, these stores were tucked away in corners where only serious shoppers would know where they were. Shalimar had always enjoyed the chaos. She liked to get a drink and sit while everyone hurried past everyone in his or her own little worlds. Some times she found trying to walk through the crowds frustrating due to her lack of patience. A quality most ferals shared. But she was quite happy to sit and watch, letting her feral senses take over. Emma always felt slightly tense in crowds, as she had to be cautious with her powers. It only took one little wall to slip down for a split second for her to feel something that she really did not want too. Sitting hear with Shalimar gave her confidence. Her friend was always so strong and made her feel so comfortable around her that she did not worry too much about all the activity going on around her. The girls had finally taken a break from shopping to sit and have a drink. They were sitting in a small little café, which Shalimar had discovered last time they were hear. They were sitting knee deep in oversized shopping bags having at least five each. "You know I thought we promised that we were only going to get one outfit. I mean, its not like we can wear three different outfits to one party." Emma said as she rapped her hands around her warm mug filled with foamy coffee. Shalimar had a twinkle in her chocolate eyes as she replied "Well will just have to go to more parties then wont we?"                                     

Emma rolled her eyes as she took another sip of her drink making sure that it was not too hot first. 

"Do you think I was too hard on Brennan?" Shalimar asked out of the blue, a thoughtful expression on her face. "I know I snapped I just did not like him tacking out his macho issues on you,"

Emma smiled glad Shalimar was her best friend. The feral was fiercely protective of her and she almost knew Emma better than she knew herself. Luckily this talent worked both ways.

"Shal you should just say something if you like him." She hinted gently knowing that Shalimar really wanted to talk about her relationship with Brennan.

Shalimar's cheeks reddened slightly and she absently played with the black straw that sat in her acid green colour drink. (Emma did not know what was in Shalimar's glass and she was not brave enough to ask anyway.) "I want to talk to him, I just don't want to ruin our friendship." She picked up the straw and dropped it back down in the drink causing little green puddles to form around the glass. 

"I'm not going to tell you what to do. Its your chose and you will known what's right when the time comes, but seriously you two need to talk before you explode due to sexual tension." Emma's joke had the desired effect on Shalimar as she let out a small laugh. "Don't worry girly he was properly acting off today because he feels the same way you go."

Shalimar nodded hoping Emma was right. Either way her and Brennan were going to talk, tonight. 


	4. rebel

Authors Notes- Ok warning, This chapter is rated R so please do not read if sex and stuff offends you (I'm trying to do this with out giving away what is going to happen) Thank you for the reviews, I plan to make this story quite dark after this chapter and I would like LOTS of feedback on this chapter as it is an important one in the story.

At night it was never quiet. Not in the Sanctuary. Something was always happening. Some times Adam worked through the night making quiet noises locked away in his lab. Shalimar often spent the nights patrolling and hunting through the deepest reaches of their home, letting the animal within her take over. It was even worse when they came back in the early hours of the morning after going wild at some random club most of the night. They would come back home drunk and laughing as any normal 20 something would.

Tonight though they had all decided to stay in. Emma had organised a video night after sensing tension between the team. She had even got Adam to join them. Sometimes sensing the emotions of her friends was a thing. She would use tonight as an opportunity for them all to reconnect. For the bonds of trust, loyalty and love that held them together to be made stronger. And also for Shalimar to talk to Brennan.

She felt a buzz of excitement knowing the way her friends felt about each other. She also felt slightly jealous about the bond between them. Not because she was in love with Brennan, she did love him but she loved him like he was a big brother. She was jealous, as she had yet found that bond with someone for herself.

She put thoughts of her own love life aside as she looked down at the two videos she had finally decided to hire from the video store. Her eyes were drawn to their colourful cases. One a new horror film that she had been told was good. She remembered the critics raving about its use of physiological horror. The other was an action film Jesse had wanted to go see but they had been to caught up in missions to do anything recreational. It looked boring to her but the boys would enjoy it.

Emma grabbed a handful of salty popcorn and popped it into her mouth. The large bowl that was overflowing with popcorn was seated on top of the newly fixed TV. They were all set. Shalimar was in the kitchen with Adam getting the drinks and Brennan had just slipped into the room and was no sitting and sulking on the couch. All she had to do was to call Jesse.

Jesse only heard the second loud knock at his bedroom door. He pulled of his headphones not bothering to turn off the rhythmic music. He hesitated as he went to open the door. What if it was Brennan come to apologise? Jesse was too wound up to talk to him now. He was happy sitting in here stewing in his anger and resentment. 

"Hay, Jesse." Emma's gentle called from behind the wooden door.

Who was he kidding Brennan would not come to him to apologise. Brennan was beyond apologies as he had proven time and time again to Jesse and the rest of the team. And why did this cruel twist of fate make Brennan more popular than himself he would never know.

"Jesse, some time today. I can hear you in there." Emma teased pulling him out of his thoughts. He opened the door, coming face to face with the tall, striking red head.

"So you coming?" She said before he could open his mouth.

"Were?" He replied running his fingers through his dirty blond hair.

Emma rolled her eyes "Video night." She informed him hoping Jesse did not think she sounded as 'Brainy Bunch' as she thought she sounded.

Jesse squirmed not really wanting to watch a film tonight as if they were one big happy family. They would have to excuse him tonight he was going to be the rebel.

"You know what" He started looking casually down the corridor, "I think I'll get an early night sleep."

Emma gave him one of her innocent smiles. "You sure?" He nodded and she was satisfied not to pry any further. That was until she noticed the angry red cut on his cheek, surrounded by a bluish purple bruise. Gently touching it her facial expression turned to concern.

"What happened?" She asked simply. 

"Basket ball got a bit out of hand. We got carried away in the game." He lied knowing the only way he could get his lies past Emma was to base them in truth as much as he could.

She laughed softly. "Boys" She muttered "Sure your ok?"

Jesse only nodded again.

"Ok then. Good night." She said, before kissing him lightly on his uninjured cheek and then slipping of down the corridor.

She always knew how to put a smile on Jesses face. 

Shalimar felt her eyes grew heavy. The action film they had been watching had made her want to curl up and fall asleep. She would have to tease Jesse tomorrow. He was the one that wanted to see this film and he had not even turned up. Adam had also got bored and had excused himself around half an hour ago. 

Emma's yawn sounded distant to her as she glanced down at her best friend who was sitting on the floor. "I'm off to bed as well. You'll have to tell me tomorrow if they did anything else other than blow stuff up." She said with a cheeky smile. Shalimar gave her a sleepy smile back as they held each others hands quickly for a second as a sort of private way to say good night, and Emma's way of getting Shalimar to talk to Brennan who was still sitting besides her after not saying a word during both of the films.

Shalimar rested her head on Brennan's shoulder feeling completely at ease. All the tension that had steadily grown between them had diapered. She would have to talk to him another time; she did not want to wreck this moment. She smiled as she resisted the need to purr.

Brennan looked down at Shalimar felling the warmth of her body against his. He gently moved her head off his shoulder and cupped it in his hands. Not wanting to have to carry her to bed he tried to wake her up slightly.

"Shal" He whispered, smiling at the sleepy expression on her half opened eyes. God she was beautiful.

_"You want her."_

The voice was back. It was just as bitter and low as he remembered. He felt the hair on his arms stand up before he realised that he should trust the voice, after all it had only told him the truth so far. 

_"Take her."_

It was true he did want Shalimar, he always had but he never took it any further out of fear that it would ruined their friendship.

_"Don't be a prick, you know you want too and she does too."_

Brennan froze. Did Shalimar feel the same way?

Shalimar yawned as the man she trusted with her life stared at her. "Brennan?" She asked sleepily, slightly concerned.

_"Take her!"_

The voice ordered him now. Leaning forward he gently kissed Shalimar on the lips. Her immediate reaction was shock. She tensed slightly before kissing him back. She scolded her self for tensing up. Brennan was not like the men she had thought she had loved in the past.

Brennan's kisses became more passionate as he massaged Shalimar's tongue with his own.

_"Good!"_

The voice laughter ran through his head.

Brennan could not hold back anymore. So many months of sexual tension, it had been a nightmare resisting. He kissed her even harder, faster he wanted to devour her.

Shalimar felt uncomfortable, his kisses had lost all traces of love they now were aggressive and empty. She pulled away slightly catching her breath.

"Brennan we…we shouldn't of. I mean we're both tired." She stuttered trying to stay in control even though she felt dead on her feet.

Brennan never answered her. He looked her up and down without making a sound.  

_"Don't stop now."_

Shalimar frowned as she realised Brennan gaze had settled on her breasts. "I'm going to go to bed, maybe you should do the same." She said but she made no effort to get up. Her human senses were screaming at her to run but her feral side told her to stay against her common sense. Some part of the animal inside her knew what was happening and wanted to stay. _'Snap out of it.'_ She thought to herself. At this time of night the feline inside had more control. But she still had enough control to realise things were getting threatening. 

She felt Brennan's cold hand touch her skin as he caressed her neck. Slowly, lightly pulling his hand down until he was touching the top of her breasts. His hand deprived of all its normal warmth.

"Brennan." Shalimar said sharply warning him off.

Again he did not reply scaring Shalimar. This was not Brennan. Her warning had not deterred him as he now fully fondled her breast, hard with no regard to her feelings.

"Stop it!" She shouted and hit his arm away from her. She was now fully awake.

_"Do it!"_

The voice screamed removing any hesitation he might have had.

Brennan launched himself at Shalimar knocking her on to her back on the leather couch. His arms pinned hers behind her head as he lay on top of her.

_"Do it!"_

Shalimar's eyes flashed feral. She had to get out of here. She was going to have to rely on her feral abilities to get him off of her. 

"Brennan" She growled, "Brennan please stop!"

He did not stop. There was no kindness in his movements as he reached down to undo Shalimar's trousers. She tried to kick him off. She almost had him of her when she felt a paralysing pain run through her body from her head to her tows. Deep dread filled her as she realised Brennan had shot her with an electric bolt. She tried to ignore the pain tingling in every muscle and focuses on getting away. Her eyed widened in the realisation that she couldn't move. What had he done to her? A bolt that powerful would surely knock her out. Brennan must be more powerful than any of Mutant X knew.

Shalimar had no choice but to lie there. This was not Brennan. If he was not going to be here then neither was she. She placed up her walls. If she could not get away she would not let him see her pain. She would not cry. Shalimar slipped away and the feral took over.

Brennan had taken off Shalimar's trousers and was now working on undoing his own jeans. There was no touching or kissing. His actions robotic and dominating. It terrified her.

He slipped into her and started pumping back and forward violently. Shalimar struggled not to scream in intense pain. She felt herself tear. She was not ready for his size.

In, out, in, out, in, out, hard and sharply. Brennan never took his eyes away from Shalimar's as the voice taunted him. Her deep brown eyes that had once held a sparkle of excitement now looked empty. Her eyes that were once filled with trust, love and humour when she looked at him were now filled with pain, anger and hate at the sight of him. Yet she did not cry.

Brennan met his climax and fell on Shalimar breathing hard in pleasure. _'Its over'_ Shalimar thought disgusted not only with Brennan but also with herself. She thanked God for that moment as she founded movement in her body. Kicking Brennan of off her and onto the floor she jumped up and punched him in the head before he could react, knocking him out.  

Locked in a desperate panic she pulled on her clothes as she ran to her room locking the door behind her.


	5. Into the nothing

 Authors notes- Thank you once again for the reviews of chapter 4. I was a bit concerned that it wouldn't go down that well. I'm sorry this has taken a while but I have been very busy. Hope you like this chapter. Oh, and just for the sake of saying it, Its my birthday tomorrow!!!!!!! 

The darkness was endless. Forever long, forever wide. Not the kind of darkness that was so dark you knew it hid all sorts of creatures, be they good or bad. This darkness was lighter, more of a murky brown. The colour similar to a polluted nights sky. Nothing moved in the darkness. It sat impossibly still. Nothing moved, nothing breathed. Complete deafening silence.

The ground was coated with a grey mushy ice that had once upon a time been snow but had lost its endless beauty and innocence and now represented despair and emptiness. No snow fell there anymore. The darkness was weather less. Neither hot nor cold but an eerie chill stayed in the air as a reminder of the bitter reality, which existed past this place. 

Emma opened her eyes to find herself in the darkness. Confusion filled her body as she tried to look around and to turn her body but any movements seemed impossible. Slowed down to a painstaking slow speed. There was nothing to reduce movement it just felt so hard. Like a part of herself had been taken away.

In the coldness she thought her pale skin would arise in Goosebumps but a quick glance at her arm told her different. In her thin silk pyjamas she felt a chill yet her body showed no physical symptoms of the coldness.

Her feet felt wet and cold. Glancing down she noticed the icy sludge that went as far as the eye could see. It reminded her of the time she went to New York. It had snowed heavily but after only a few minuets the perfect white snow had turned yellow and old due to it being trampled on disrespectfully by hundreds of people who had never stopped to appreciate its beauty. 

The barren landscape scared her. It was so empty so deprived of everything and anything. She felt as she was in another universe. A universe filled with nothing, and it frightened her. Her instincts told her that something awful must of happened here. An unspeakable pain that the place was desperately trying to forget by forcing itself to become empty. By giving up all of its identity. Giving up the good and the bad things about it that made it whole. All these things now gone and now it was nothing.  

Emma stirred in her sleep half aware that her dream was not a dream but an emotion so intense that it had forced her mind into this empty world. The emotion, if it could be called that was like an explosion of nothingness. 

A numb pain filled Emma's mind. She almost craved the devastating pain which was buried somewhere deep inside the nothingness. At least with the pain she felt something.

It did not take Emma long to realise the emotion was coming from one of her friends and it terrified her. Who ever it was must be so empty, so desperate almost as if life was not worth living anymore. She knew that she had to find this person. One of her four closest friends was balancing on the edge, and she could be the only change to help them.

She tried to pull her mind from the wasteland but it was just too hard. The empty emotion was so strong that she felt like she was stuck in deep mud and the more she struggled the more she sank.

She tossed and turned in her sleep, her physical body clawing at the sheets as if she could pull herself out of the dream world. Tears of frustration ran down her cheeks. She needed to help she could not let any one of her friends do anything stupid. She would never be able to live with herself if anything happened to this person.

_'God, someone help her!' _ She screamed mentally hoping someone somewhere would hear her plea.

Her 

She suddenly realised whose emotions she was feeling. Shalimar.

A sickening feeling grew in the pit of her stomach knowing she would not be able to help her friend anytime soon. She had one last option. To try and find Shalimar in the wasteland.

Emma tried to shout for her friend but found she had no voice in the darkness. She pulled her limbs, forcing them to move in a slow motion run that would be worthy of Baywatch. But it was not time for humour here, just nothing.

Emma searched desperately knowing every second that past could be the last chance she had to save her friend. She felt a blunt constant thumping pain in her head but ignored it. She would deal with her own pain later right now Shalimar's was far greater. Why couldn't Emma find her? It was almost as if she did not want to be found.

_'Shalimar, please talk to me!'_ She whispered soundlessly.     


	6. Discoveries

Authors notes- Hmm I don't have a lot to say this time. This part has taken a while, as I wanted to get it realistic as possible. I also wanted to show a bit more of Shalimar and Jesse's relationship. Enjoy!

Adam held his warm mug tightly in his hands. Savouring the mouth-watering smell of the strong coffee. He had awakened very early as he did often, even after going to bed late last night. Jesse had always told him he needed to either get some sleep or a life.

Neither of these things seemed reasonable to Adam. Ever since he was a young child his mind had always worked overtime. He found that if he at around doing nothing his brain would start to overflow and he would get agitated. The only realise Adam had was his work.

He was already dressed in a casual suit and his brown curly hair combed neatly. His mind was buzzing. He walked through the living area of the Sanctuary after visiting the kitchen when he noticed a large dark lump in front of the largest sofa.

Curious and alert he put his now forgotten drink on the low table. It took him a second for his mind to catch up with his eyes and for him to realise that the heap was Brennan. 

Adam's brow fell into a gentle, concerned frown. He felt slightly guilty knowing that he should of made Brennan take a scan yesterday. He had just been so stubborn. On first glance it seemed that Brennan had fainted but after moving the young mans head so his body was in a more natural position he noticed a large bruise forming on his left cheek. It dawned on Adam that one of the others had knocked him out. Or they had an intruder. 

Cursing himself for forgetting to put on his com ring as he had taken it off to have a shower and been in such a rush to get to work he had not put it back on. He knew he shouldn't shout for the others to help as it might alert the possible intruder.

A groan pulled him out of his thoughts as he saw Brennan start to regain consciousness.

"Come on Brennan!" He said in a low urgent voice.

"Eugh" Brennan muttered feeling as though a heavy weight had been lifted of him.       

He was not alert enough to walk just yet but it would have to do. Silently and quickly Adam pulled the tall, well built man up and half dragged him towards the lab. 

"Shalimar"

Jesse mumbled suddenly bolting awake. A urgent feeling had nested deep down in his stomach.

In his heavy sleep he was sure he had heard Emma warning him. The details had become fuzzy but he was sure he had heard the voice plead loudly in his head, something to do with Shal. 

Scepticism started to enter his mind. Jesse knew that he was a very heavy sleeper and he dreamed very strange dreams. The other night for example his dreams had involved a lot of birds and a lump of cheese. 

Still the panic in Emma's voice rang through his ears. Jesse knew that with Emma's powers she could of reached out to him as he slept, or it was just his wacky imagination. Either way he knew he would not be able to sleep again until he checked on the feral he considered a sister.

He climbed out of bed faster than he had done for a long time. Rubbing his tired eyes he striating out his boxers and his vest top with the other hand.

His bare feet padded on the floor on his way to Shalimar's room. As he reached her door, which was identical to his own he knocked gently. He wanted to check to see if she was awake but he also did not want to wake her knowing that she was a very light sleeper and very grumpy when she was woken up early. He got no reply.

"Shal, you in there?" He asked in his most innocent voice.

 Now he felt extremely concerned. The whole vibe he was getting from her room was wrong. He had always found Shalimar's room a lively place that sparkled with her energy. Now it seemed different he could not put his finger on it but it felt way too quiet.

"Shal please let me know if you're ok" He tried to reach her again but louder this time.

Once again he got no answer. For a moment he considered that he was about to embarrass himself with what he was planning to do. Shalimar would tease him for months. It did not matter though, not when there was a chance she was in trouble.

With a deep breath Jesse fazed through the wooden door.   

Shalimar's room was filled with golden and lively colours and patterns. The exotic room seemed to be casting more shadows than usual. It was dark inside, much darker than the rest of the Sanctuary.

He let his eyes grow used to the darkness before he looked around. The room was empty and he almost gave up and left before he froze in shock.

Shalimar was lying on the floor in the corner furthest away from him. Her golden hair looked slightly limper than usual. Her dark eyes were open but looked darker than usual. They looked empty.

For one horrifying moment that Jesse never wanted to live again he thought that she was dead but then he noticed the slight rise and full of her chest as she breathed. He ran towards her bending down and gently lifting her head so that he could look into her eyes.

"Shal? Honey speak to me." He said barely above a whisper.

Shalimar didn't move her eyes remained unfocused. It was like she wasn't inside her body any more. Jesse's eyes where blurred with tears. His heart literally felt as if it had made a home in his throat as his stomach was too filled up with an acidy fear.

He felt so out of control panicking he took hold of the small women's shoulders and shook her gently. 

"Shalimar!" He shouted. He knew he should be careful as she could have had a head injury but Jesse just needed to wake her up. To get her to frown at him for entering her room uninvited with a playful fire in her eyes. He needed to hear her speak. For her to reassure him that everything would be ok. Shalimar had always been over protective of him and he liked the security she gave him. Without Shalimar he felt lost and unable to cope. How was he meant to wake her? 

Sorry about yet another bad ending. I'll make sure the next bit is up real soon but I have to go horse riding now. 


	7. Numbing tears

Author's notes- next parts here! Lets just say it isn't going to get any better any time soon.

Emma was sure she had moved. Yet everywhere looked the same. She felt so desperate, so frustrated, so tired. Worse than all these things she felt helpless. At times in her life she had hated her powers. They were just so hard to control. They were so powerful that she had to spend all her time with these mental walls up to stop the endless floods of peoples emotions screaming inside her head. She used to sit in the rare quiet moments and wish she could meet someone she could truly relax around. Someone who understood her. She had only just realised it but Shalimar had given her hope of finding this perfect person. She had helped her to trust within her powers. At this moment when she really needed her powers to help her best friend, they had betrayed her. 

She just had to carry on looking. She did not know how she would find Shalimar. Would the blond appear to her like a ghost? Would she even look like Shalimar? Emma did not know this was new to her.

Then suddenly she saw her. Shalimar was standing in the distance. Her posture looked stiff and uncomfortable. Like she was only standing because there was no point in sitting. It would be too much effort. Her hair was down covering most of her face. She held her arms across her stomach in a hug but Emma could tell she was gaining no warmth or comfort from her empty gesture. 

Emma noted Shalimar's clothes. She was wearing a long black dress made out of a light material. The hem of the dress seemed to dance as if it still had not been told about the lack of wind. The dress was beautiful in its simplicity, a low neck line but not low enough to be classed as revealing. Thee sleeves were and flared out elegantly at the end. Like Emma's own Shalimar's feet were also bare. 

She approached her friend slowly and cautiously. Shalimar did not even acknowledge her presence. As Emma grew closer she could see her friends attention was focused on the sludgy floor.

"Shal" Emma whispered. Surprised to hear her own voice.

For a long moment Shalimar did not move. Emma froze also in anticipation. Finally the feral looked up. Tresses of golden blond still covered her face. She seemed to look past Emma like she was only looking up because she knew she had to.

"Shal what happened?" Emma felt stupid asking such a question to her clearly devastated friend but she knew beating around the bush would not help her.

Shalimar did not answer. She lifted her head slightly higher causing bits of hair to join other pieces of hair on her shoulders. Her face was blank. She wore no make-up and seemed free from the materialism of the world. She looked almost innocent.

Her brown eyes seemed to watch empty but not in a devastating way. It was similar to a small child watching for an adult to tell them how to feel at a certain situation. In the dark Shalimar's skin seemed to glow a pale colour. With her arms rapped around herself it almost looked as if she was trying to hide it.

Emma knew she was not going to get what had happened out of Shalimar. Hell, she was not even sure if this version of her friend could talk.

"Shal, I know this place is peaceful now. That it stops you from feeling the pain and that you think that if you stay here long enough maybe the pain will just forget about you. But it doesn't work that way honey. It's killing you in here. You've crawled up inside your own head and you need to get out. You need to feel Shal. I know it's hard and at first you just think you are going to die because it weighs so much. That you have so much pain and hatred you don't know where to put it. Your not alone Shal we will help you."

As Emma spoke she could tell she was reaching her friend. Shalimar's eyes seemed to focus on her own. Holding on to them like some kind of lifeline. 

Above her the darkness was cut through by a milky pink colour. The sun. Emma could feel the first waves touch her cheek in a warm caress. This meant that Shalimar was listening that she wanted to let go of all the bad feelings.

"We will all be there for you. We love you. Me, Adam, Jesse and Brennan."

Suddenly an angry clap of thunder sounded causing Emma to jump. The rolling sound seemed to bring a dark clouded sky with it. It was not the emptiness of the nothing but it was not the hope of the sunrise either. What had Emma said wrong? As the clouds came Shalimar seemed to leave. She lowered her head again and became even tenser. Emma was losing her.

"Shalimar!" She shouted sternly. Hoping she was doing the right thing and not pushing her over the edge.

The blond looked up again. She seemed surprised at her friend's tone and a little scared.

"Just, just tell me what happened." She said in a more gentle tone.

Shalimar's eyes filled with more fear as she shook her head violently. The corners of her mouth curled in a sign of desperation. She was feeling something. A wild panic at facing the truth but she seemed so much more real know. Less empty.

"Then don't talk now just leave this place Shal. You need to go its dangerous!" She was now pleading.

There was a sudden wind. The mushy snow on the grown somehow blew and twisted in the air like dust. It surrounded Shalimar shielding her from view. The strange thing was Emma could not feel the wind it just existed. She watched slightly idly as the wind died down leaving nothing where Shalimar had been. Emma had realised this would be so even before the wind had gone. She felt a weight being lifted of her chest. She knew Shalimar was far from safe but at least now she could face up to her problems. Only some part of Emma did not want to be involved it what was to come. She knew she would find out what had happened and from the way the weather had been created she knew it involved one of the team.

The next thing Emma knew was she was in bed looking at her pure white ceiling. 

Shalimar!" Jesse shouted again. His voice rich with tears. 

He shook her again ready to collapse on the floor in helplessness. When suddenly her eyes seemed to come to life, growing new life like a spring flower. She gasped loudly as if she had been drowning. She looked around madly. The feral with in clearly more in control than Shalimar was.

He grinned with relief. Feeling salty tears run into the corner of his mouth. He gently cupped his friends cheeks so that she could look at his own eyes and realise she was in no danger.

He frowned again as Shalimar only shrieked. Knocking his hands away with her feral strength. She backed further into the corner making herself as small as possible. She seemed scared of Jesse. 

He held out an arm wanting so badly to take her in his arms and protect her from her problems. But the closer he drew the more she panicked. He noticed as she pulled away that her trousers were not dun up. And her tight blouse was wrinkled and some buttons were in the wrong hole.  

He once again did not know what to do as he watched the once confident feral sink into the wall tears falling from her eyes like they have never flow before.

That's it for now. I hope you find my characterisation accurate. Apart from Brennan's for clear reasons. I created the wasteland because I did to want to do what everyone seemed to do with these sorts of stories. To have the victim fall crying in someone's arms straight away. I thought if something that bad happened then the emotions are going to be over whelming. I have a friend how dealt with a similar situation by just shutting down. I just wanted to show this through Shal. Now the next chapters contain the real dark stuff.        


	8. Blame

Author's notes- this is just a small chapter to keep you all interested and to move the plot along a bit. Hmm I want to put Adam on a guilt trip. Maybe I should arrange that. Adam's ok in this but does anyone else get the feeling his evil from the show? Now that would make a good story.

Adam sat in the lab with Brennan who had waked up and was sitting on a work surface. Adam had used the labs computer to run a scan of the Sanctuary. There was no intruder. Adam was sure of it now only the team were in the building. He had checked the cameras at every entrance there had been no disturbances. 

Frowning as he had done a lot this morning he realised one of the team must of caused Brennan's injuries. But who? Emma did not have the physical strength to take down a man Brennan's size unless she used her powers. Jesse could have but Adam got the feeling that if that happened then there would have been a lot more noise. Shalimar could of taken Brennan down he had seen her do it a million times during training. She had no reason to attack him though sometimes she could get a bit territorial but generally she was fearlessly protective over the rest of the team.

Adam stopped his brain before he thought too much. He needed to get all the team together and talk. He looked up from his position at the computer to see Brennan rub his head.

"So are you going to tell me what happened?" Adam asked keeping his voice level, as Brennan could have been responsible for the attack. He had been the cause of some fights between himself and Jesse recently but things had never escalated this far. 

Brennan had not been listening. He felt confused not knowing why he had woke up on the floor. He also knew that his head hurt like hell. Touching gently above his left eye he felt a large bruise forming. Someone had hit him?

"Not going to tell are you." Adam said looking the elemental straight in the eyes. "Was it Shalimar?" He said out of the blue. Knowing that if he were going to cover for anyone it would be Shalimar.

Brennan looked up at him for a second before glancing back down at his hands. "Shal? I, I don't know. I don't even remember what happened."

Adam stood with his hands on his hips and a sceptical look on his face. "Maybe I should run a scan. See why you can't remember. I could get rid of that bruise as well." Adam said not really making his words a question.

'No scans' 

"No!" Brennan shouted suddenly jumping to his feet. Regaining his cool he shuffled slightly. "I mean there's no point. Blow to the head properly caused the memory loss. I'll remember in no time. And besides the bruise makes me look tough." He rambled slightly.

A feeling was growing inside Brennan that he was wrong about the memory loss. He had had many blows to the head in his role in Mutant X and as a thief yet he had never felt like this. It felt like… like something bad had happened. He hopped the rest of the team were ok. Emma, Jesse and Shal. Shalimar he realised that he felt more concerned about her than the rest. He knew he could be over protective of the feisty feral but this felt like more. Had she been involved?

"Come on Brennan you don't have to pull that macho crap without the others around. Do I have to give you a long medical lecture on the effects of an ignored concussion?" It was clear that Adam was not taking no for an answer this time.

'_You can't let him scan you'_

"Adam just leave it ok!" Brennan almost shouted his voice full of danger.

Adam was not put of by Brennan's aggressive tone. "Brennan scans now. This is for your benefit not because I enjoy playing with lasers." He spoke in the tone he of often used if one of the team challenged his lead or were about to do something stupid

'Don't listen to him. His against you their all against you' 

Adam expected Brennan to shout back or come up with some snappy comeback but he simply stared at Adam his dark brown eyes danced with alertness. Which confused Adam further.

"Brennan I will not have you ignoring me when you can't get your own way. I have had enough of you making problems lately you are either part of this team or you aren't!" Adam's anger exploded shocking himself. He usually was the one that kept his cool throughout everything while the others run around like headless chickens but at this moment he was starting to feel tired and as if the team was falling apart at the seams.

'See now his trying to get rid of you. Chuck you out of the only family you have ever had just because you wont let him hurt you."

"That isn't true" Brennan said rubbing his head again causing his raven colour hair to stick out in every direction possible. He was not sure who he was talking to but Adam not being able to hear the voice thought he was addressing him.

"Yes it is Brennan. I've put up with your behaviour for a long time because your not used to letting someone else be the leader. I except that but lately you've started to go to far."

_'He wants to turn you into a mindless drone. He made you like this don't think he won't ruin your life again'_

"Its your fault." Brennan said his voice low and dark. Adam had never heard him talk like this. Brennan could be arrogant but he never sounded this… evil.

"What?" Adam asked. He knew what Brennan was blaming him for he just did not think he would ever hear it.

"Its your fault I'm a fucking freak. Because of you I can't live a normal life instead I have to worry about secret government agencies and powerful homicidal maniacs. I risk my life Adam! And for what? Just because you can't be bothered to clean up your own messes?" Sarcasm dripped off his voice like fresh crimson blood of a dagger.

'That's is show him that he can't dump his problems on you any longer. Trust me you'll feel better'

"Brennan I have never condoned my actions. I admit that I have made mistakes but I refuse to live in the past. I never did anything to hurt people. God I thought I was helping them! I refuse to let you blame me for all your problems that is nothing to do with me." Adam was fuming. Brennan was using him as an escape goat for things that where out of his control. Even though he knew these things were not his fault he could not ignore the continuous feeling of guilt that hang somewhere in the back of his brain.  

'Look at him. So self-righteous. He made you the way you are Brennan and he can't even admit to it. Well your going to show him that you don't mess with us'

Adam backed away as Brennan came forward. His eyes shocked the team leader they looked almost black. Something was not right Brennan was not acting like Brennan. He knew he had to get away.

"Brennan look, just calm down." Adam said quietly. His fear increasing as Brennan stepped into the shadows with all of a sudden seemed to fill the lad making his expression unreadable. 

Brennan took another silent step forward stepping out of the shadows his face twisted into something almost unrecognisable. They where now inches apart. Adam could even detect the faint musky sent of Brennan's aftershave he could smell something else too. Something that did not belong on Brennan. It was strangely familiar.  

"Brennan." Adam said as a last resort. Already knowing that it would not help. He looked around quickly trying to find something where he could use his could use his brain. A fantastic equation that would tell him all the answers and end this madness. He never found one.      


	9. Memories

Author's notes- so here's the next part. I wanted to do a Shal and Jesse bit in with a Adam and Brennan bit so it would of contrasted but I realise that this bit is far to important to divert attention from it. This means you'll have to wait for the next chapter to find out what has happened to Adam and just where Emma is. Enjoy. And I think I'll write an evil Adam fic but I'll finish this and I'm Sorry first. I want to write something about Jesse too. I don't know why I end up writing B/S all the time its not like I do it on purpose!

"Shal?" Jesse asked in confusion.

He backed of slightly realising she was scared. He decided to take a different approach as the more he tried to comfort her the more frightened she seemed to become. He sat gently next to her but not too close. The carpet felt itchy against the bare part of his legs. It took all of his restraint not to smother her with his arms and demand to know what was wrong. Shalimar let out a particularly loud sob that made Jesse almost give up.

"You can talk to me Shal. I've always been able to trust you. Do you remember when I was first brought into the Sanctuary? At first I was shy but as soon as I sat with you for the first time I ended up telling you my whole life story. I just remember this tiny girl with wave after wave of golden hair and she never sat still, even when she was eating. I trusted you as soon as I saw that girl and you can trust me I promise." He spoke softly. A faint smile formed on his lips as he remembered better times.

The room was silent for a moment. Jesse fiddled with a lose piece grey thread from his boxers trying his best to be patient. He could hear Shalimar crying gently by his side.

"Do you remember that time at that club, Bounce I think it was called, when you met that guy and stayed out all night? You were like eighteen. Adam was really angry with you from the last time you pulled something like that of so I hade to cover for you and pretend that you were in your room sick. It worked but I think Adam knew the truth. I think he knew there were some mistakes he needed to let us make on our own."

Jesse looked over at Shalimar and found that even though she still looked quite scared she was listing intensely. She was bighting her lip like she always did when she was concentrating. If it was not for the tears that streamed down her face and her puffy red eyes Jesse would of laughed at how cute she looked. He turned his gaze back to the wall opposite which was covered with an exotic brown material with tiny little gold and purple stitches in it making up a complicated pattern. 

"Or the time you found out my girlfriend at the time was cheating on me. You told me right away even though she was your friend. You wanted to kick her ass but you didn't even though she started being a bitch to you just because I told you to leave her alone." He chuckled softly. "We have had some times."

"I'm sorry," A quite voice croaked besides him. If he hadn't been desperately waiting to hear it he would of missed the tiny noise altogether. 

Jesse shifted his body so he was now facing Shalimar who wore a distant frown on her face. He tried to hold her hand but she pulled it away. She was not ready to be touched just yet.

"Why are you sorry honey?" Jesse asked her in a similar way you would ask a child. He did not want to push her too hard out of fear she might break down again.

"For um, letting you all down." Her voice sounded distant. She was struggling to keep it even and the pain was already boiling through. Silent tears still run down her face.

"Shal, how could you ever let us down?" Jesse asked in with a naïve smile on his face.

Shalimar's eyes focused on the wall opposite in the same position that Jesse had been looking. She seemed to be considering her next words.

"I made him hurt me." She said a little to unemotional. 

Jesse's brow lowered in a concerned gaze. Not that he could look much more concerned than he already did. 

"Who hurt you Shal?" He asked afraid of the answer he would get.

"I used to like it when it was just us in Mutant X. It was nice, peaceful. Now everything's just so complicated." Shalimar muttered almost as if she could not hear Jesse.

"Shalimar, who hurt you?" Jesse asked a little more forceful. Fear and anger where very much present in his voice. He tightened his hands into fists. Normally he was a very lied back guy but if anyone touched anyone of his friends, his family he found the calmness slipping away and anger taking over.

Shalimar looked at the floor before staring right into Jesse's eyes. The bond between the two friends seemed to strengthen at that moment. Jesse tried to talk to Shalimar to reassure her with eye contact. He knew that being a feral she was very good at reading body language. 

"Brennan." She finally whispered. 

The words seemed to hit both Jesse and Shalimar herself like a sledgehammer. Saying it out loud was like finally admitting it had happened for Shalimar. She winced as Jesse jumped up. He seemed restless as if with the devastating news he felt like he should be doing something he just did not know what. 

"What the hell did that bastard do to you?" He struggled to stop himself from shouting as he started to pace back and forth.

He quickly noticed Shalimar's distress over his movements. Restraining himself as much as he could Jesse stood still and rocked on the hills of his feet. For the first time he really studied his broken friends face if he was not so worked up and angry he would have been fascinated by the variety of emotions that danced on her face. He obviously saw fear; a glint of guilt was present in her watery dark eyes. Her brow was slightly lower than it normally was showing an unsettling example of her denial. Shalimar's bruised lips were pulled tightly together in an unconscious look of deep anger.

Jesse felt his own guilt growing the closer he watched her. Shalimar had always protected him. He should have protected her, after all he knew that Brennan was being an ass hole lately more than anyone did. Jesse had to admit he was slightly happy. No, that so was not the right word. More relieved that that it had been Brennan who did, what ever he had done to Shalimar. He hated it but he had been jealous of how close they had become. Brennan seemed to be taking everything that Jesse had once called his own. 

"Um, last night, when the others had gone to bed, I um, was tired I guess."

Shalimar suddenly said almost as if she was reciting a piece from a textbook. She moved forward slightly as if she was trying to make it easier for Jesse to hear her tiny voice. Jesse sat down in front of her remaining silent to let her tell him under her own steam.

"I remember my head felt really heavy so I laid it on Brennan's shoulder. I remember feeling so content."

Her voice cracked with emotion. New tears formed in her eyes but she seemed determined not to weep them. She suddenly found something about her hands very interesting. As she looked down her hair hid most of her face from view but Jesse could see the angry frown she now wore on her face quite clearly. He had known this women most of her life he knew all her character traits. 

"I don't really remember that well, you know? I think he kissed me." She let out an almost dreamy laugh. "I kissed him back, I had been waiting ages for him to make a move, he just, he just made me feel so… special." 

Jesse felt that anger again. Lately Shalimar had been spending a lot of time with Brennan. If she was not with him she was out with Emma. Jesse felt left out. But he had no time to analyse his own emotions. Now was the time to be there for his friend when he knew the others could not help.

"Then he started to get rough. He scared me so I got angry and um, I warned him off."

Jesse could barely listen to the feral's quaking voice. 

"He, he was like he was possessed or something. That look in his eyes"

Shalimar shivered slightly remembering those dark, empty orbs. 

"He pinned me down and just started kissing me again. I think he must of used his powers on me because I felt this pain then I couldn't move. He scared me so much."

She chocked suddenly. Looking up through her hair she looked like a little lost child, complete innocent but corrupted by the actions of unsavoury people that this world was so full of. Jesse noticed her wrist that she seemed to hold hesitantly so that he could see it. It was covered with angry finger marks that were already starting to turn into black and blue bruises. 

Jesse was not stupid. He realised what Brennan had done to Shalimar. He felt so much hatred run through his veins that it scared him but he wanted to feel the hatred. It was better than the pity, and the disgust that he could not help but feel. He reached forward to touch Shalimar's arm. He wanted to hug her but he did not want to scare her. Shalimar barely let Jesse touch her before she shrugged his arm away. 

"He just laid there on top of me and…"

"Its ok you don't have to say it."

Jesse offered quietly. He was not sure if said it for Shalimar's well being or because it would break his heart to have her say the words.

"He, he raped me."

The way Shalimar stumbled over her words made it painfully awkward. After all, no one likes to use the r word. It's dirty and society doesn't like to think about it. As soon as people hear it they freeze. Unsure on how to react. Do you smile sympathetically? Make a big deal out of it? Or not react at all out of fear of embarrassing the victim?  

And there is another word. Victim. No one wants to be a victim. To be seen as a weak target for stronger people. Weak people were victims. Shalimar had never been weak. 

Jesse's rage could only be dominated by his intense feelings for the women in front of him he considered his sister and one of his closes friends. He hugged he almost not feeling her slim body tense beneath his strong arms.

"Your ok Shal, your ok I've got you."

Jesse smoothed her. He rocked them both back and forward slightly and gently stroked her back. 

For a moment Shalimar wanted to run away. She wanted to scream. She knew she could trust Jesse but she had thought she could trust Brennan. She did not want to be hurt again, she wanted someone to make it all better but she did not know whom to turn to. Who to trust. After a long moment she felt herself relax. She melted into Jesse's arms. It was so hard not to trust anyone. She had so much bottled up inside of her and she did not know what to do with them. The tears really started to flow now faster than they had ever done in her life.

"Jesse I'm so sorry. Its all my fault."

Jesse pulled back slightly; shocked to see that through the look in her eyes that she was very serious.

"Shalimar none of this is your fault."

He told her strongly. He could not bear to think about what had happened let alone think about her blaming herself. Jesse took hold of his friend's shoulders shaking her gently. She seemed to such his face for a moment then she flashed a bitter smile.

"But I got him so angry, if I had gone to bed, if I hadn't kissed him back..."

Shalimar started to babble uncontrollably until Jesse placed a finger gently on her lips.

"Sshh." He whispered forcefully "You did nothing wrong you hear me? Brennan is an evil bastard how took advantage of you…"

"But"

Jesse shook his head. "Don't you dare blame yourself. I'm the one who should be sorry. Sorry for not looking after you like you always looked after me. But I'll fix it now I'll make Brennan go away he wont be able to hurt you again I promise."     


	10. Crossing the line of forgivness

Authors notes- Sorry this has taken a while I've been busy at work. I have one major problem with this chapter. Shal locked her door that stops me from doing a few things that I'd like to do. Oh well I've written myself into corners a lot worse than this before. To make up for being away for a bit this will be a long chapter. I had a sudden thought righting this that no one has really wrote in detail about what its like for Emma to use her powers (As far as I know) I want to try and add that in this. And also how can Brennan use his powers without ever burning anyone? He puts a bloody electrical current through them?! 

Emma had got dressed faster than she thought possible. She did not even notice what colours the top and trousers were as she pulled them on. She would not of bothered to get dressed but she was wearing her little silk night dress that Shalimar had convinced her to buy at the mall. It was not really practical to wear unless you were expecting your perfect man to suddenly appear. Emma felt slightly embarrassed for indulging her fantasies even if it was just for one night.

Before she even had time to think she was skidding down the corridor towards Shalimar's room. Having taken this journey so many times it became instinct. She almost slid right past Shalimar's closed door. It would have been comical if it were not for the situation. 

In her desperate panic she had let her mental walls slip. As she was about to knock on the wooden door she felt a sudden blast on the most intense emotions she had ever felt. The feelings hit her like a fireball burning her from the inside out. She was no longer in control of her own head. She was so unprepared for these emotions that she could not stop them. She had to let them run their course. 

Her legs bowed and she found herself leaning heavily against the wall behind her. Her back pushed against the wall, which she could feel, was cold through her thin top. The coolness of the wall being her only comfort from the foreign, red-hot emotions inside of her. The emotions were so mixed up. Hundreds of different feelings all rolled together so they became unrecognisable, uncontrollable. Tacking beep breaths Emma let the emotions run through her. Doing this stopped her from being swept away like she had been so many times when she had attempted to struggle.

After a few painful moments all the forced emotions had disappeared and all she was left with was the lingering sense of betrayal. A betrayal so intense that there was no anger with it, only a sad acceptance and a sense of enormous loss.

Sinking to the floor completely for a moment Emma allowed herself the luxury of putting her mental blocks back up. Taking a delight in putting all her thoughts in order that only she could understand. For a moment she thought she might throw up but she swallowed the bile back down her throat even though it made her cringe.

She was soon on her feet again and knocking gently on the door. She had already sensed Jesse inside the room so she relaxed slightly. From behind the door she could hear some muffled movement and some hushed voices. The door was unlocked and then it slowly opened, only slightly though just enough for someone to look out. 

From behind the door she could see Jesse's warm blue eyes some floppy blond hair and part of his nose. He looked her in the eye for a second before walking away from the door. His shoulders slightly slumped as he did but even through the small opening in the door Emma could see the tension in his tired muscles. 

Once again she felt a blast of emotion but now with her mental walls up she could let most of it wash over her. She had other things that needed her attention at the moment. Pushing the door open she slowly and quietly made her way through it in fact she almost seemed shy. Emma could feel others emotions but still they were not _her_ emotions. These belonged to the people she cared about and as much as it broke her heart seeing them hurt it also made her feel uncomfortable. She knew them so well that she did not know how to deal with it.

Walking softly into the room almost walking in Jesse's footsteps. She watched him as he sat on the floor in front of Shalimar's high bed. Sitting next to him was Shalimar who quickly hid herself within Jesse's arms. Emma let her concerned gaze run over her friend's body making sure she was okay physically. She noticed that Shalimar's wrinkled clothes were the same ones she was wearing last night. There was deep bruising on her thin wrists, which the blond feral was holding close to her stomach as if she was a child holding a stuffed toy. Her eyes from behind her blond waves were red and filled with tears. She did not make a sound as she cried; she just buried her head in Jesse's lap.

Looking over at Jesse Emma saw a sour expression on his face a mixture of disgust and pity. He stared back at Emma as he gently stroked Shalimar's hair. Emma fiddled with her com ring. She wanted to go sit with her friends and take Shalimar in her own arms but she just felt uncomfortable doing so. She felt so guilty but for a moment she felt a wall stopping her from helping her distraught friend.

The only thing she could think of doing was kneeling down in front of both of her friends. Feeling much like a teacher trying to talk to children on their own level. 

"Jesse?" She asked unsure herself why she just didn't address Shalimar direct like she did in that wasteland. She knew partly it was because Shalimar's emotions were screaming at her to not make her re live what ever had happened. There was something more to it but Emma did not really want to get into it.

Jesse opened his mouth ready to explain to Emma everything which hap happened. He seemed to consider his words carefully knowing the full blow they would cause. He glanced down at Shalimar before he spoke looking back up a single tear fell down his cheek leaving a silvery trail in its wake.  

"Brennan. We need to find the scum bag before…" Jesse was very angry. Emma did not need her powers to realise that. Every letter in every word he said was dripping with a hatred Emma did not know the gentle blond was capable of. She knew he had meant to explain the situation to her but he just could not hurt himself.  

By this time Shalimar had sat up looking slightly weary at Jesse who gently whispered some calming apologising words in her ear. Shalimar looked up at Emma as if she was telling her to talk to her rather than going through Jesse. Emma had always admired Shalimar's strength even in a time like this she could sense a piece of Shalimar that was still fighting as strongly as ever. 

"Did he hurt you?" Emma asked softly.

Shalimar glanced back down trying to hide the shame in her eyes. Emma took her hand gently in her own she squeezed it slightly and tried to offer a comforting smile at her friend with out her eyes being overcome with her own tears.

"Hurt her the ass hole raped her!" Jesse exploded unable to contain his anger any longer. "He did more than hurt her, he destroyed her trust. She loved him and he attacked her." His voice slowly died down from his previous shout. He was now growling softly in an attempt to not make Shalimar nervous. 

More tears fell shamelessly down his cheeks and Emma could not stop herself from crying any longer. Not only did she have her own emotions to deal with she also had Shalimar's and Jesse's. "He hurt he more than I can imagine and I wasn't there. I didn't protect her." Now Jesse was chocking his words. Guilt had eaten away part of his anger brining him to calm again.

"Oh honey." Emma whispered to Shalimar taking her into her arms without even thinking.

Her mind was working over time. How could of Brennan done that? She just couldn't image it. She did not doubt Jesse or Shalimar but she just felt so shocked. And well, betrayed herself.

She tried to make herself think logically. She could not let the emotions that where swimming inside her drown her. She had to stay in control as no one else was. Emptying her mind she carefully reached out to Brennan trying to locate him. For a few minuets she only saw blackness through her closed eyes. Then when her mind was truly empty she saw herself from behind. Her own vibrant red hair contrasting with the gold in Shalimar's as she held her tightly. Then Emma felt her mental self being drawn away from her physical self. As if she was on a fair ground ride and her body was not really hers. She let herself be lead around the Sanctuary. She passed doors that she knew she should check but yet she had a feeling that they were not important, that where she was being led to was where she would get her answers. She pasted through the main floor area and the training area all the way to the lab.

Suddenly Emma was back in her body the sound of herself gasping was almost alien.

"Jesse. Go to the lab." Emma said knowing something had happened there. But why would Brennan have gone to the lab? Wouldn't Adam of let them know if he turned up there?

Adam, all of a sudden it became twice as urgent that Jesse went to the lab. Jesse was only looking at her in confusion. Not wanting to leave Shalimar he gestured at her so that Emma would realise.

"Jesse go now." Emma said more forceful so he would understand what she meant.

Jesse quickly left as quietly as Emma had entered. Leaving Emma to hold Shalimar silently.

At first Jesse thought the lab was empty as he glance wildly around. Then he noticed the blood on the floor. Just a few small crimson drops the larger ones looking more black than red. After one group of tiny drops there was another one only slightly bigger. Following the blood he saw that it ended behind the grey reclining chair. 

Rushing quickly to the chair he soon realised the lump behind the chair was Adam. A feeling of dread that he had felt only half an hour ago when he had discovered Shalimar had started to over come him again. Apart from this time he had no doubt that Brennan had been involved. His belief was confirmed as he heard the distant sound of an engine start from the garage.  

Ironically he had to put his strong anger and hatred for Brennan at this moment aside to help Adam. This however made him feel angrier. Someone was hurting his friends and he was not getting the chance to hurt this person for it. The closer he came to revenge the further away it seemed. But this just wasn't some random bad guy of the week. This was Brennan. A guy he trusted like family that was a member of his adopted family even though he could be damn pig-headed and cocky. Now he had betrayed everything that Jesse had held closest to his heart he did not think he could ever forgive Brennan not only that he did not want to as far as he was concerned Brennan was twice as bad as any enemy they had ever had.

"Adam!" Jesse said urgently rushing over to his frail body. 

Quickly and almost automatically Jesse took his mentor under his upper arms and carefully pulled him so that he was laying flat on the ground. He then gulped before assessing the damage. He noted with horror that Adam was still awake. Barely. The older mans dark eyes were staring right at Jesse only he did not seem to see him. His left eye could barely focus due to the jet back bruise forming around it causing the eye to swell up painfully. Adam's swollen lips were moving but no sound was escaping them. Only a small trickle of bright blood traced his chin.

Jesse removed his horrified eyes from Adam's face to check for any other serious damage. Running his hands down his body lightly he checked for any broken bones cringing as he found two broken ribs. Jesse also noticed Adam's face twitching in discomfort as he leaned over his stomach.

Jesse could not see the problem because of Adams dark shirt but he soon noticed that the material was drenching wet with a substance thicker than water. It could only be blood. Then a distinctive smell hit Jesse's nose making him turn away to stop it over powering him. The smell although he had never smelt it so strongly before he knew that it was burnt flesh. Breathing through his mouth he turned back to confront the injury trying to keep a level head only be able to think about the existent of what Brennan had done to him.

Jesse did not think he could keep everything together as he tried to lift the dark material only to find that it was stuck. The thick blood and the burnt flesh around the wound had created a kind of glue. Hating himself for doing it Jesse tried to pull the shirt away from the wound finding it impossible he pulled harder knowing that he had to stop the bleeding and to do that he needed to get everything out of the way.  Tugging sharply he pulled the shirt of the wound hearing a ripping sound as he did so. Adam let out a small scream making Jesse feel even guiltier than he already did. With taking the fabric away he had also removed a layer of skin.

Quickly Jesse examined the exposed wound notching that a tiny amount of smoke curled and from it. Jesse watched mesmerized as it made its way to his nostrils dancing in a hypnotizing manner. He pulled himself away and felt relief wash over him. The burn had stopped the hole the size of his fist in Adam's chest bleeding all that was needed was for it to be closed up.

"Jesse" Adam wheezed quietly.

Jesse moved his head so that he was closer to Adam's mouth so that he would not have to struggle to speak as much.

"Jesse, Brennan…" He was cut of by a sudden surge of pain and Jesse shaking his head grimly.                

"I know Adam. What the hell did he do to you?" He asked gently indicating the chest wound.

Adam struggled to get up but his ribs would not allow him. Jesse quickly moved to help him. Gently placing Adam on the chair he was laying next too. 

Adam shook his head his hand on the bridge of his nose trying to ignore his pain. "I don't know he just attacked me. He used his powers like I've never seen him do before. It was like he was aiming to kill…"

Focusing on those intense empty black eyes Adam never saw the fist flying at great speed to his face. The fall force of the blow never seemed to reach Adam's mind as he fell back almost as if he was flying. He landed against the wall. Banning his head before he imply feel to the floor like a rag doll. He brought his hand up to his eye that had taken the full force of the hit. The pain surged through his skull as he tried unsuccessfully to blink. His hand still lingered around his eye as he looked up to see the dark figure approach him again.

"The fucking bar… I knew he couldn't of been trusted! His always been an arrogant idiot but for some reason everyone seems to love him for it! He tries runs this place as if he is the best thing to happen to us. And you let him! He has taken unnecessary risk and put us all in danger since the first day he arrived! The he goes and hurts Shalimar and then you and everyone is all surprised! I was surprised Adam. I should of known. I should have stopped him."

Jesse felt something warm and wet on his hands. Glancing down he noticed he had once aging clenched his hands into fists. This time so tightly though that he had drawn blood out of the sensitive part of his palm.

Adam was not listening to Jesse. He found it impossible after he mentioned Shalimar. Adam could forgive Brennan for hurting him. He had been angry. Maybe the young man was not stable enough to be a member of Mutant X that would mean that it was Adam's mistake brining him in. How ever wrong his actions Brennan did have a reason for attacking him. Brennan could be forgiven for that. But Shalimar, if he had hurt Shalimar Adam was not so sure if he could forgive Brennan. Shalimar had never done anything to cause the elemental to attack her. It was not something you forgave easily attacking a member of your team who trusted you completely. The good guys did not work that way.

Adam lifted his head so he could look directly into Jesse's blue eyes. "What did he do to Shalimar?" He dreaded the answer but he had to hear it. He felt worried and on edge as Jesse seemed to take forever to talk. Shalimar had always sparked feelings of protection from him. Normally more than what was necessary. He had practically raised her since she was fifteen. He had shown her love where her biological father had not.

Jesse's eyes softened but they still contained a mixture of anger, shame and worry.

"He raped her Adam." Jesse muttered not wanting to have to say anymore. He did not want to think about it.

He regretted looking up as he felt another kick to his ribs. He did not know how many times the hard boots had struck his side but he was starting to loses feeling in his left side while his right filled with pain after another sickening crack. If only he could get to his feet. Then he might have been able to stand a chance.

Adam closed his eyes. Unsure of what he was feeling. His heart went out to the young women he considered his daughter. He had failed her. He should have protected her from this, should be there for her now instead of being unable to get of the lab chair. For some reason a memory of himself trying to tell Shalimar about sex and boys when she was young filled his mind. He remembered her innocent but cheeky grin as she told him that she knew all she needed to know. He wished he could go back to that time when before a part of her had been ripped away.

Adam staggered to his feet. Amazed that he had even been able to use his shaky legs. Amazed that his attacker had given him the chance. His attacker laugher at his efforts creating a feeling of humiliation that was worse than the pain. Adam's eyes widened as he saw blue bolts of electricity dance in the man's hand from finger to finger. His attracter's hand suddenly lunged forward and a burning feeling forced Adam back down to the ground. One thought remained in his empty mind as saw black spots in his vision. 'At least I took my last blow on my feet.' 

And for the first time Adam found himself unable to forgive. Through out his whole life he had always tried to see people's good sides. Even with Gabriel Ashlock he had forgave him enough to want him to live. That made killing him so hard. With Brennan it was different. He did not want to try and see the good within the man. He did not want to understand his reasons. He had lost all his compassion and it scared him. As a leader he had to take an objective view but for a few minuets he was unable to do so.

"Where's Shalimar?" Adam asked panicking at the though of her being on her own.

"Don't worry she's with Emma." Understanding the look in Adam's eye he quickly spoke to Emma through his com link. Emma needed to heal Adam so that he could tell them all what to do next. Someone had to tell them, as they sure did not know themselves. Besides Shalimar's presences would release part of Adam's worry. And hopefully part of his own apprehension.  

"I hope it was worth it Brennan. Because now you have no one." He whispered bitterly with his back to Adam.

Okay the next part will have a lot more Brennan in it. Please review. It will make me write quicker honest.


	11. Running and Rabbits

Authors notes- Well this has taken a while but I've been getting settled in at college and stuff. Hmm I haven't got much else to say really. Thanks for all the replies for the last part. Um, the ending of this part is quiet cliché but I don't know what else do with Brennan. Hopefully you will be able to sympathise with him better though, which is the whole idea of this part any way. So go and read this now and then review, pretty please.

The cars engine sent out a familiar drone that Brennan was starting to find annoying. The sound of an engine had always been something that fascinated him, but now, when he needed to think more than ever the drone became only a tool for blocking his thoughts. His mind felt numb he was totally deprived of the ability to think rationally. Like the section of his brain that allowed him to think for himself had been cut of. 

_Was this what it is like to feel nothing? _Brennan heard himself talk silently. He already knew the answer to his question. No. This was not what it was like to feel nothing. It was the confusion that had caused the numbing effect on him. He did not understand so it was better to believe that he could not feel anything.   

He gripped the stirring wheel with strong rigid fingers almost scared to loosen his grip. His dark eyes stared ahead without blinking. He was concentrating on driving twice as much than he need to. He also knew he must of looked like a beginner out on his first drive alone. This was just ridiculous, as he had taught himself to drive long before he was of legal age. Concentrating on such a familiar task was a subconscious and desperate attempt to stop his self from thinking. As if he allowed his fingers to loosen or if he blinked it all would come back. 

He was not ready to face it all just yet.

Deep down he knew that it was not the car that was blocking his thoughts, no that was just an excuses he was stopping himself from thinking efficiently enough not to need the cars help. He knew that he was terrified but in a way that felt totally new and unsettling. He had been afraid before, he had been in fights and risked his life and he was enough of a person to admit that at these times he was terrified. But it had always been that fear that fire than had kept him going in life and death situations. He almost enjoyed it rushing through his veins mixing with adrenaline. It was what had been crudely named 'a buzz'.

This feeling was different. He was not in a life or death situation he was on his own in his own car with no one around to hurt him but for some reason this only intensified the feeling. There was no adrenaline to snub the strength of this fear that he realised now was bordering on paranoia. The terror silently slithered inside him like thick, dark oil. Brennan did not like the feeling one bit.

And what terrified him even more was the fact that if he did allow his thoughts to roam freely he still would not be able to remember how he got to this place in time. He tightened his fingers round the wheel even tighter allowing his now white fingers to caress the smooth cold plastic.

Something was missing he realised grimly. He felt as if a big chunk of himself, no not himself something else was missing. Voices. It had to do with voices. He wised someone, anyone would suddenly talk to him and tell him what he was supposed to do now.

With that thought he was brought painfully back to the last thing he remembered. As the lone memory infested itself Brennan not only lost his concentration but his control of the powerful car. Swerving from one side of the road to the other sharply. Luckily the road was wide and deserted. In the just falling darkness Brennan's car's lights acted like a knife making rows upon rows of tree trucks either side of the road visible. This was to be expected of course as he was driving through the large woodland area that surrounded one side of the Sanctuary.

It did not matter though_._

_Brennan was no longer in the car he was back in the Sanctuary early this morning. He felt dazed, as if he had just woke up from a long drug induced sleep. Glancing around he recognized the shapes of the lab without much difficulty. Why was he in here? He could not remember. Hadn't Emma organised for them to all watch a video?_

_With another quick look around he soon realised that it was no longer night. There were no windows in this part of the lab but the darkness of the night had always seemed to have a tight grip on the room making the normally painfully bright lights look cosy in an inadequate way. A whole night had past and he could not remember it. _

_Panicking now he went to move his com ring to his lips. "Adam" He whispered urgently. He needed his mentor at this moment. If anyone could make sense of this situation he would, Brennan needed a lot of answers at this moment. _

All he got was silence. He frowned at the silence realising that it was not like Adam to not hear him. Adam had an almost superhuman ability to come to the team when they needed him. Then he saw him. Adam lying at his feet so still it was almost painful. It took Brennan a long moment to see that Adam's chest still rose and fell gently. 

A soon as he was filled with a sense of relief it was brutally taken away from him. Adam was hurt? Why was he hurt? And more importantly who had hurt him? 

It was him Brennan knew that he had hurt Adam. He knew that he would never hurt Adam, hell; he could not hurt any member of Mutant X. He did not even remember hurting Adam but he knew that he had done it almost like a second sense. 

The guilt that took over in that second was more powerful than anything Brennan had ever face. It was soon joined with an equal amount of panic. He knew he should help Adam but he could not bring himself to touch the older man. As soon as he almost touched his skin he pulled his hand away as if he had been stung. He could not move this thought in the back of his mind that if he even touched Adam again then he would just end up hurting him. Brennan could not do that.

Once again he felt completely lost inside his own home. He felt like he was in a cage. Knowing that he had to at least call the others so that they could come and help Adam. He almost did call him but then his mind stopped his voice from working. What would he tell the others? It was not like he had the answers himself. What would they do if they found out that it was Brennan's fault? Growing up Brennan had spent so much time on the streets as he did not want to be around his step dad. He had never really had a proper family until now. He liked it here and he did not want to lose this family. He could not face Emma's disappointed gaze. Jesse's disgusted silence or Shalimar's protective anger.

He had to get away. It was the only way out he could think of. He was going to come back but he needed to get help first. He couldn't be around the people he loved if he was hurting them. He couldn't face seeing Emma or Shal laying at his feet as Adam was now. He had to protect them by removing the threat. This was one problem he had to sort out himself.

Brennan's car charged dangerously down the empty night road. Inside Brennan was having trouble staying focused wishing he had not wasted all his energy trying to concentrate earlier. Then all of a sudden he felt tears poring from his eyes. Hot tears which traced his unshaven cheek and the curve of his neck. A heart-wrenching sob escaped his throat as his desperation, his guilt, his fear and his anger caught up with him. It all mixed together until he was totally unsure of what he was feeling. All he knew was that he felt sorry for himself. It might sound selfish and stupid but at that second all he could think about was how much he had lost in one single day and he did not even know **why** he had lost it all. It just was not fair.

The car suddenly felt large and cold. All he wanted to do was to be back at the Sanctuary where it was warm and safe. He wanted the others to make everything better. That was what a family was for wasn't it? He ached for Shalimar. At his moment of extreme weakness he finally figured out just out how much he loved her. He wanted to be in her arms at this moment he wanted to hear her soft, sultry voice telling him every thing was okay. But he did not know if Shalimar could forgive him for what he had done to Adam.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god." Brennan repeated to himself over and over again so quietly he was not even sure if he was really speaking. He brought a hand up and wiped his now red nose. And with in that simple movement was his mistake. At the same time a rabbit or some other sort of small animal. Rabbits were really common in this area and his eyes were so blurry he did not know for sure.

He swerved but in his panic state he completely misjudged the distance. The car turned left sharply and started to come of the road. On this part of the road the side of the woodlands fell down from the level of the road in a sheer drop. The car had become almost uncontrollable and Brennan felt as if his reactions seemed to be put on half speed. The car was going to crash Brennan realised with an odd sense of calm. The only thing he seemed to feel was a small knock when he realised that he must of hit the rabbit or what ever it was after all. 

A bitter laugh was caught in his throat. Why was he so fucking dangerous? How could he of manage to hit the innocent animal? He was a walking disaster who kept on hurting the ones he loved.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered. Then there was nothing. 


	12. Analytical thinking, hidden hatred

Authors notes- Here's the next chapter, again sorry it took so long but between having the computer break again and again, coursework and revision for my AS exams I have had no time not even for drama and you should always have time for drama. As certain people have bugged me to update I thought I better get on with it. The story line I had planed may change now, as I can't remember all the details and my computer deleted my original plan. As for this part it doesn't really go anywhere but sets up a nice Adam Shal moment.

Adam woke slowly reluctantly opening his eyes as the strong artificial lights of the lab hurt his sensitive eyes. Lab, why was he asleep in the lab? His mind hang somewhere in blissful confusion. Not that the sleep induced memory loss felt that way to Adam. He was a scientist he prided himself on knowing everything and being in control of a situation. The natural phenomenon of waking up was a little too much out of Adam's control for him to enjoy it.

Struggling to remember as he attempted to sit up, never being the type in person to sit still doing noting for too long. Adam winced before his head fell back against the med bed. The movement caused his head to spin and his stomach muscles to tighten. He laid still for a moment, counting to ten impatiently in his head. Although Adam had no 'superpowers' he still did not like to think of himself as useless.

In thoughts ten seconds he gather his bearings. His head stopped spinning and his muscles relaxed slowly. He was aware of all his body for a moment he could practically visualise the internal movement happening throughout his body from the ligaments in his feet too the steady movements of his diaphragm controlling his breathing.

Once his body was satisfied his mind seemed to automatically switch itself on and Adam was a genius again. It was as if a row of street lamps had switched on in sequence as dusk fell. The previous day was the last piece of the puzzle to fall into place with it came a feeling of dread that made him almost physically sick before he could allow his scientific nature to take over and detach himself from the emotion. He would deal with the problem in an analytical manner until he had time to deal with the incidents effects on his own psyche. At this moment he knew he was responsible for what way the team would go next. The remaining three members needed support and he was the one who would have to it to them no matter how difficult things got.

Adam took the journey to standing slower this time almost in stages. First he pulled himself to a sitting position. From here he noted the mess the lab was in with a disapproving groan. He had always tried to keep things neat and clean almost to the point that it became the atheist mans religion. Expensive machinery was broken and blood covered many surfaces.

It wasn't until he was standing that Adam noticed the torn piece of fabric that used to be his shirt and then the tightly rapped bandages around the would-be revealed part of his abdomen. He ran his fingers over the coarse fabric and winced as the feeling the slight pressure made. It wasn't pain as such but it felt uncomfortable, tight and prickly. Suddenly feeling self-consciously undressed Adam noticed his jacked, which had been folded carefully and placed on a nearby clean surface. Pulling on the item of clothing so not to feel so revealed and open to the world Adam left the room with a hasty sense on urgency. He would have run if his tight muscles would allow him too.

Adam found the others scattered uneasily in the lounge area. Jesse was on his feet standing awkwardly as if the simple idea of standing still was taking up all his concentration and energy. The girls were seated next to each other both with stiff posture perched as close to the edge of the seat they could actually be without falling off.

Although they were sitting close together there was still a distance between them. Emma had turned her upper body so that she was partially facing Shalimar and kept on sending concerned glances her way as if she wanted so say something to the blond woman but knew now wasn't the right time.

Shalimar herself with her feral senses was all too aware of her fellow teammates even if she tried not to show it. Through her wrinkled top Adam noticed her tense shoulder muscles. She sat with her head lowered as if her fingers were the most interesting things in the whole world.

Adam felt himself wanting to rush to the hurt feral and take her in his arms to protect her from the cruel world that they lived in. However his brain told him different from his natural fatherly instinct to protect the closest thing he had to his own child. The damage was already done and it was his job as the rational leader to pick up the pieces. He took in Shalimar's appearance carefully not being able to completely abandon these fatherly impulses. He noted wrinkled clothes, limp hair and dangerously pale skin.

As he drew closer they started to notice him. Jesse immediately jumped and stood up straighter as if he was standing to attention. Emma relaxed slightly grateful that here was someone else to take control of the situation. Shalimar glanced up tucking blond waves behind her hear. The sight of her face almost broke Adam; she looked so much smaller than she had ever done before. True she had always been a small woman but her strength and personality had always made her seem so much taller, she reminded Adam of a child at this moment. Her eyes were large and bloodshot reminding Adam more of a puppy than an independent cat.

After a long moment of silence Adam was surprised when Shalimar was the first to speak, "How are you?" She asked her voice sounding strained.

Adam could only nod finding the question almost ridiculous he should be looking after her not the other way around.

Shalimar lowered her head again briefly in response before looking up again. She narrowed her eyes slightly. "Sorry" She said quietly.

"You don't have to apologise Shal." Jesse spoke up his voice holding a cold angry tint causing Shalimar to lower her head again.

"Jesse" Adam said warningly knowing the normally docile young man needed to vent some anger but now was not the time to do it. He walked into the centre of the small sitting area feeling that he felt like he could control the situation better if he didn't separate himself from the others. He consciously decided that he needed to appear to be more involved in the group rather than just the leader for them to survive this.

"I know to say things are difficult at the moment would be an understatement but we need to pull together to end it all. There is still a danger, we have no idea what could happen if Brennan lost it again." They all looked uncomfortable at the mention of their lost team member. All watched Adam intently reminding him of little lost sheep needing guidance.

"We need to understand this situation before we can deal with it. Jesse, Emma I want you to go back to the lab, its clear that whatever has happened has started there and keep an eye out for Brennan it would be helpful to be able to track him." Adam had always loved organising, solving the puzzle piece by piece. Right now this passion was allowing him an outlet, all he had to do was make this shit make some sort of sense. He needed to know why.

Emma and Jesse left hesitantly but quickly glad for something to busy themselves with. Jesse froze before he exited turning to face Adam waiting until the sound of Emma's hills had disappeared so he didn't upset her. "And if we run into Brennan, what then?" He asked holding unbreakable eye contact with Adam. His eyes seemed different now a darker blue, less innocent. It was true that in bad situations people grow.

"You have to stop him his danger to anyone and everyone. Any means necessary." Adam did not bother to hide the bitter hatred and disappointment that had started to creep into the dark statement. One thing he couldn't hide were his feelings on the elemental.


End file.
